I’m not sure when the day will come and I’ll realise that I’m actually out there in the world again, some day’s it feels ok, that I could just keep travelling in the car, I want to know what’s round the next corner, someday’s I still hate the world, it’s a scary place in my head, after spending years in one place. I often wonder how prisoner’s get on being inside for many years the world has got to feel strange and huge to them!!!
I’m aware that I can get to King’s Lynn with some anxiety but not nessaray going to panic, I think what worry’s me is, I get there, and say right we go to one shop or we walk up that one street and I want to go home, I do worry that Mista will be disappointed, it’s wasted his time and while I’m sure I would like nothing better than to stay longer (and maybe I would) I still have that flight response in me, it’s the not daring to push the limit, don’t want to get de-relization.
I need baby steps to move forward.