Day 59

At Dad’s for the day.

Was dropped off in the morning with K as Mista at work. I had a funny feeling about it being a teacher training day, as they mostly have one after a holiday, so sure enough started walking up the school and saw there was no car’s, so great no school.

Had a bit of a panic moment, as realised I wasn’t comfortable to go home with k, And also my Dad was going to Help Ellie move some things so he was going out.

I went rainbow with him, just so I could grab some T.bag’s I dare not have coffee. So at least I took the panic bully with me.

I’m sat here now with just K,and handling thing’s ok, but  Mista’s phone isn’t on 😦

Day 58

We went to the sunday market at a reasonable time this morning, then on to my mum’s for a cup of Tea, I felt like going to Walpole I really want to see the church that’s over that way, I got quite far up the road, despite fighting the panic bully on the way, we went to the pet shop along the Lynn road, I really like the parrot, would still like a bird, I could do with the company when I’m on my own.

Mista then took a new way back to Emneth, I was ready to head back as I don’t like the feeling of being lost and unsure where I am, but I stuck it out and we got the key’s to Emneth church and had a walk around inside, I loved the tomb in there.

Headed home to wait for a call to pick K up from town.

All in All was a pleasant day despite the fighting the day before.

Day 57

Last morning at dads till monday, Hardly had any sleep as dad got up 10 minites after I walked in, he has a little job on today.

So was dropped off at the church about 8:20.

Thing’s where going ok,  we fought, we went to the pub, had a meal, came home and ……

It went tit’s up….

Day 56

The week seem’s to be dragging on.

I jogged a minute home and a minute walk from my dads, lol

I’m missing animal company, Just something needs to fill a gap that Tessa has left behind 😦

I wouldn’t mind a bird to be honest, I love dog’s but it’s just not practical to have one at the moment, cause I’m worried about it making a noise when I sleep at my dad’s, even though Naomi is here at night’s!

Mista came home and we went for a long bike ride, was lot’s of fun.

Day 55

It’s raining, It’s pouring, Mista is not here snoring!

Ahhh my Dad had no T-bags so had to have a coffee and I am buzzing.

He took K and C into town to catch their bus so I hitched a ride to the Church so I didn’t get totally wet.

I’m sat here wondering what to do today!

I’m really bored, I miss My man, I could really do with an adventure, It’s a shame C always comes down at the wrong time, I got 2 weekends to myself and we can’t even do anything!!! I really fancied doing a new village, but with the weather like this I feel down 😦

Day 54

Was a bit strange going to my Dad’s this morning knowing that Carl and k had spent the night there, thankfully he wasn’t on the sofa.

I felt less anxious inside knowing there was other’s in the house, and day dreamed for ages, thinking about Mista.

C and K went to the post office, he was keen to see if his money was in, and Dad went to rainbow, so I stayed behind so c&k could get back inside.

He walked over to me and gave me £10 to buy K something!!!

I walked home, only to find the Badger was up Grrrrrr, I wanted some peace.

Tidyed up the house rest of day till Mista came home.

Day 53

It’s 10am I got home from my Dads about half hour ago, Just sat here with my breakfast and cup of Tea and wondering what to do today?

The peace was disturbed when eldest daughter rang up in tears cause her twat of a boyfriend is being an arse, I told her to leave him, and I’m about if she wanted to come over.
After an hour she rang again asking me to get hold of my Dad to go pick them all up, as Carl is down as well, and pook K is having to listen to the fighting.
Dad not answering the phone I biked down there as he could have been in the garden but he was’nt home, so rang his mobile to tell him to go fetch Ellie.
Ellie came back to mine for awhile, so I could pack K’s thing’s for her trip on Wednesday.
Carl had gone into town and he text Ellie to say he was on way back and will meet her at my Dad’s so I walked back with her, said bye to K and came home to wait for my man.
Who got a nice treat when he walked in the door. 🙂

Day 52

Woke up quite late which was nice to get a lay in, but meant the sunday market was closing up, but we still went for a walk around, Then we went over to the old train track’s.

Was going to take a look at the bird auction which they hold in Wisbech every 2 weeks, but peeking inside it looked crap, not even any birds in there !!

We had a walk along the old train track, I enjoyed that despite it being bloody cold.

Day 51

Was round Dads about 9am as Mista had to go to Outwell to get the car fixed.

We went round town and a visit to Mum’s, Not going to King’s Lynn as no money and it’s to cold and wet, hopefully we can do it next month.

Havent done nothing else, stayed home in the warm and watched a film.

Day 50

One good day 🙂 One bad bay 😦

Feel scared about the torturous trip to Kings Lynn on sunday, I don’t think I can do it, I’m petrified.

I sit and think “Why me”? other people can travel without any problems, and normal people will look at me and not realise inside how bloody scary it is for me to do this.

Day trips are supposed to be fun, well it’s not going to be for me, I will be on edge the whole time and will be glad when I’m near home.

I’m worried I’m going to lose Mista over finances, I just don’t know how I can help him 😦

So at the moment my emotions are up and down today, I’m feeling happy, and relaxed, K is going to her dads, over the weekend, so I’m happy to stay and wait for Mista tonight, even though I may be anxious, but it will only be a few hours at home because I have to collect K from disco at 7:30 and wait for her dad to come pick her up.

But i’m also worried about Mista’s worrys, I know we can be ok with money, but he need’s his own account, with his own bills in, and not supporting 2 households.

I need a lottery win

It’s 8:16pm, and I’m sat at home with the Badger who is thankfully watching tv at the moment.

I am anxious, and trying to keep calm.